spoilers: end of the season
pairing: Hitomi and Van
Author's notes: My very first escflowne fic! Reviews are adored!
It was four years since she had last heard from anyone. However, that didn't mean she wasn't thinking about them-him, constantly. Because she was. Not a day went by where her thoughts didn't drift to her far away lover. When she was still in high school she used to spend days with Van…but as time sped on she couldn't seem to make the time. And no matter how much it broke Hitomi's heart, she knew she had to do what was best for both of them.
She was desperately trying to remind herself of all the reasons why staying away from a love on another planet when a car slammed to a halt in the street.
Hitomi nearly dropped her book bag in surprise.
"Watch where ya're going ya big idiot!" a loud almost childish voice screamed.
Hitomi turned from her path. She watched as car swerved around a young woman-a young woman with kitty ears…and a tail!
"Merle!" Hitomi gasped!
"Hitomi!" The kitty girl look up at her, a huge smile appeared on her face. "What are you doing here?"
Hitomi shook her head in confusion as another car whizzed by, it's horn honking.
"What am I doing here? I live here! Now get over here!"
Before either woman could say another word Merle leapt toward Hitomi.
"What are you doing here?" the older woman asked in a stunned voice.
"Where have you been? Master Van's been sick with worry about you! You're soo inconsiderate! Don't you even think of what you're doing to him?" Merle shouted. Before waiting for an answer she pulled a small package from a pocket and handed it to her.
"What is this?" Hitomi asked, accepting the package carefully.
"Open it," Merle demanded suddenly becoming sober.
Hitomi glanced down at the paper in her hands nervous. She sucked air into her lungs then carefully became unwrapping. After a moment, the papers fell aside and Hitomi was left staring at a white feather.
"Van's-" she started happily.
Suddenly her smiled dropped. Her hands began to tremble as she realized there was a small but steady sliver of black in the center of the feather.
"Oh my god," Hitomi's hands flew to her mouth, dropping the paper and its content to the pavement.
"He always said that whenever something bad would happen he'd call you." Merle said quietly staring at the ground. "But when you stopped coming, saying how busy you were…At first he was happily for you….he was so proud of your devotion to your school. But then we found out…" Merle's eyes began to water. "He didn't want to tell you."
Hitomi's mind was full of images of Folken falling to his death; his black wings spread high-the loud thump his body gave when it crushed against the floor.
"How long?" Hitomi muttered.
"No one knows…he's fine then he's not." Merle looked angrily up at Hitomi. "So are you coming back with me or not?"
She was the last person Van was expecting to see. He knew his servant girl had vanished early that morning but he wasn't entirely surprised and hadn't allowed it another thought. Everyone but him seemed to be acting strange as it was. But when he heard a heavy knock on his bedroom door during the few hours a day he was suppose to rest he looked up in wonder. Everyone knew to leave him alone while he rested.
"Enter," he called loudly, prying himself up from the bed.
The door pushed open and Hitomi appeared, wearing her college uniform, her hair still as short and messy as he remembered. Her eyes as wide and innocent as he'd dreamt about.
But within those precious eyes he saw pity, fear, and knew she knew his secret.
"She told you then." He sighed angrily. They hadn't seen each in so long, yet it all felt the same. As if their weekend full of fun and laughter had never ended.
"I wish you had. Why didn't you?” She stepped further into the room and let the door slide closed behind her.
Van stood and wrapped a shirt around his body, "Because I didn't want you to come out of pity," he sent her a sharp glance before dropping his eyes to the floor, "Like you did now."
"This isn't pity, Van, this is worry…panic-if I had known-" She took another trembling step toward him, "I want to be here for you."
Van closed his eyes, refusing to accept her just like that. No matter how badly his body ached to simply crush her to his chest and forget the four years of absences.
"There's nothing you can do," he said tightly.
"How do you know? There must be something-anything!"
"We've sent for all the best doctors….I've seen hundreds of them. They all tell me the same thing….it's a natural decaying disease. There's no fighting it…."
"Come back to my world-I'm sure their something we can do!" Hitomi pleaded, her eyes filling with tears.
Van opened his eyes and glared at her, "I'm a king Hitomi! I can't just pick up and leave, even now my country needs me…."
"So because of your pride, you'll let yourself die!"
"I'm going to die anyways!" Van yelled, "the least you can leave me is my pride!"
"Is that why you never bothered to come again?" Hitomi asked softly, "Because it was below you to leave?"
Van sighed, forcing anger from his body. "Hitomi-"
"I always waiting-I tried so many times…then I simply gave up. You weren't coming." She lifted her teary eyes to his.
"I wanted to give you your freedom from the chaos that surrounds me." He held her eyes with a gentle but firm glaze. "I wanted to give you everything-but I couldn't. So I let you go so you could achieve it yourself."
Hitomi quickly closed the pace between them and wrapped her arms around his taunt body, she buried her face into the crook of his neck, she swallowed heavily before she allowed herself to speak. "I can't lose you," she muttered, her voice heavily with grief.
“You never will," Van whispered, dropping his head to her shoulder. "This whole time, Hitomi, you were the only person I could think about….I couldn't tell you….I never wanted you to see me like this…"
"Can you forgive me?" She sighed against his neck, "Can you forgive me for not being here?"
Van chuckled humorlessly for a moment; he lifted his face from her body and slowly cupped her face in his hands. "Can you forgive me for leaving you there for so long?"
"Only if you let me stay with you-" Hitomi bargained.
Van lost his smile, "I don't want you to see me…go."
Hitomi shook her head furiously, battling against tears. "I'm not leaving you again, Van. I don't care what you say or do."
Van stared at her steady, as if trying to decide how solid her claim was. After a moment he nodded. "Alright…."
She managed a little smile before laying her head back against his chest. She tried desperately not to think of the time wasted. She couldn’t bear the idea that the entire time she spent studying, running, thinking, the whole time that there would always be another chance that her chance was really being slowly pulled away from her. Hitomi slide her arms around his back, pressing their bodies together firmly.
Months later Hitomi found out she was carrying the next heir to the throne. Weeks after that she was made queen. Days later her king was taken from her, his wing's a solid black.